hello cutie pies 🥰 This is more of a story time, most posts will not be done i. this format.
i have plenty of ideas for where i want to take this blog, the hardest part is just deciding what to start with.m, so i will just start from the beginning. -
i am constantly asked the question, “How did you know you were trans?” Well, for me, that isn’t a clear answer. more often than not, when a trans person is explaining their origins of self discovery, they seem to follow an *overly played* narrative stating “I was born in the wrong body.” There is absolutely nothing wrong with that narrative and it is 100% valid. but for me, i have never classified myself as male prior to transitioning. i felt alone. different. alienated. -
the first time i had any thoughts regarding my gender, i was 7 or 8 years old, 2nd grade. i had always been closer to the girls all throughout school and i had could not identify a difference between them and I. I vividly remember my teachers would call either the boys up to get materials needed and then the girls or vice versa and i never knew who to get my supplies with. Again, the questioning came across my mind at the beginning of traditional AMAB puberty, age 10-11. Slowly physical changes were taking place, changes i could not stand to look at. I was getting bigger, hairier, masculine. i was so embarrassed of my changing body that i would not participate in gym class. -
I first heard the term ‘Transgender’ at 14 years old and again the emotions came flooding back. the term itself defined as:
1. denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex.
had brought much needed clarity to my clouded perception of reality. This was real and i was not alone. I was placed in a residential treatment facility in Salt Lake City, Utah for 11 months. It was there that i finally broke down and verbalized my feelings for the first time: i am female. My parents were non-receptive of this self-expression. They shut me down, they brushed it off. They thought i had other issues that i had needed to work through and they were correct.